Posts Tagged ‘Counseling Roswell’
Have you considered your worth lately?
Our worth is not based on what we do, which life path we choose, or what we believe. Our worth is inherent in the fact that we are image bearers of the living God. Our worth is based on the fact that we are alive. We are human beings. Our worth is immeasurable.
Do you believe this?
Where do people tend to get their self worth today?
Jon Acuff, NY Best Seller, said recently in Facebook Live Video, “you are enough.” Jon explained, “Sometimes we fall into this trap because we start to comparing what we are doing to what other people are doing. You see the internet is really fascinating, we’ve always struggled with the idea that that the grass is greener is on the other side of the fence. But now because of social media we have access to 10 million backyards, we have a lot of fences we can look over at and go ‘wow their life is perfect, mine isn’t’”.
Consider who holds your measuring stick.
Is it your social circle?
Is it your workplace peers?
Is it your friends at church?
Letting others decide our value may feel rewarding in the short term. But what happens when we disappoint them (trust me that day will come)? What happens when someone or thing catches their attention and they no longer hold us up as a hero. Are we somehow of lesser value?
This is the dangerous path we can walk on when we allow ourselves to defined by others instead of by God.
Comparison is the stealer of joy.
The slippery slope is then we find other ways to feel good when we don’t have that status and this sadly is how we find ourselves filling our emptiness with “things” like alcohol, drugs, shopping, binge watching or “martyrdom”. Yes we can even look for fulfillment in ‘feeling needed’ by others, which in some cases becomes codependence.
The real answer is within us. It is something we have carried since we ourselves were in the womb. And that is that God has given us value. To God we are his children; with all our faults he loves us still.
For 2016, I am encouraging my clients to internalize positive affirmations.
Start feeling better today by saying to yourself when you are driving to work, brushing your teeth or heading off to bed at night.
“I have value”
“God cares what I think”
“He loves me every second of every day”
“I am never alone”
God knew you before you were born and you are worth it.
Steven D Brand is a counselor, psychotherapist in Roswell, GA. He also travels the country and the world offering hope and direction with his retreat weekends focusing on Marriage and other tough subjects. He is accepting new clients in his office, call for an appointment 770-641-8726.
Understanding Narcissistic Rage
“Narcissistic rage is a reaction to narcissistic injury, which is a perceived threat to a narcissist’s self-esteem or self-worth. Narcissistic injury (or narcissistic scar) is a phrase used by Sigmund Freud in the 1920s; The term narcissistic rage was coined by Heinz Kohut in 1972.” -Wikipedia
What triggers Narcissistic Rage?
Lack of admiration or respect. If a Narcissist feels disrespected, then his/her entire sense of being feels called into question. For example not being included in a discussion can set him or her off, or even a disapproving look. For many though the answer is not obvious and to spend hours of time investigating the cause is not worth it, it ends up being another trap of letting the Narcissist be the center of attention.
How Does the Rage Appear?
It can be an angry glare, it can be a raising of the voice, it can be a physical throwing of objects. It can also be subtle and passive aggressive. The response of anger in general is not wrong, it can be warranted, but with a narcissist it is usually one sided and completely out of proportion to what the situation calls for.
Once the rage passes, is it over?
No, anger can be continual like a low or medium boil. Oddly, the release of anger doesn’t make the narcissist feel relieved, in many cases, it becomes a fuel which perpetuates more outbursts.
Can Narcissistic rage be defused?
If you are dealing with a narcissist, the best thing you can do is to walk gently away and no longer give an audience to it. Detachment with love can be a coping mechanism for those who have to deal with narcissists. Engaging with the rage in most circumstances does not work. Expressing sadness or pleading doesn’t work either. In fact for a narcissist that is more fuel for them because the response of begging means more power has been won. The best way to deal with the situation is to be aware when it is starting to happen, accept that it is happening and that you can’t control it and finally take action for yourself, even if that action is just giving some distance for a time.
Steven D. Brand has over 25,000 clinical hours working with individuals and couples. He travels around the United States for conferences on recovery, marriage therapy, and counseling. His home office is in Historic Downtown Roswell.